Top 10 Things the Groom Must Remember on His Wedding Day
The hard part’s over - you’ve finally found The One and she said “Yes!”
They say the devil’s in the details, and at no time is that more true than on your wedding day. Chances are, you woke up late from staying up all night with friends and family you haven’t seen in a while, and now you have to prioritize just what to do today to make it the best day of your--and your bride’s--life.
The hard part’s over - you’ve finally found The One and she said “Yes!” Now, all you have to do is be everything she’s ever dreamed of on her wedding day. But let’s be real, today is going to have some mistakes in it. And your loving bride can overlook a lot of mistakes, but there are a few things you absolutely have to have handled. Here at Jordan Jack, we’ve compiled a list to help you avoid the most common errors that men experience on their wedding days by forgetting or overlooking details.
Here are 10 things you can’t forget on your wedding day:
1. Your clothes. Sounds obvious? Yet everyone knows a man who actually forgot to get the tux, or didn’t choose a tie, or neglected to buy some matching shoes, or didn’t bother hemming the unfinished suit pants. The agonizing details of the whole fiasco are then told to strangers and family for decades.
The fix: set a date two weeks before the wedding to have your clothes finalized. Buy or borrow a hanging clothing bag and put both the wedding wear, the after-wedding clothes, the belts and ties in it and hang it somewhere safe. On a shoestring? Use a large black plastic bag with a hole in the bottom for the hanger hooks for a make-shift garment bag. Have the shoes, socks, shoehorn, undershirt, comb, hair gel, toothbrush, deodorant, cufflinks and accessories in a duffel bag beside it.
2. Your schedule. Your bride is going to have her hands full the day of the wedding, and one of the best ways you can help is to be available at all the right times. No one enjoys hunting for the groom who has wandered away right before picture time. But you can’t be there when you don’t know what is happening when.
The fix: sit down with your bride-to-be in advance and work out a detailed schedule. Go over it with the parents to make sure everyone has the same expectations. Keep a cheat sheet in your pocket so you’re the one in the know when everyone else is asking what’s going to happen next.
3. Your speech. It doesn’t matter how much you protested before the wedding, on your wedding day you will have to make at least one major speech. To keep from rambling whatever word associations come to mind and boring your audience, a little preparation is in order.
The fix: check out tips online for writing a smash hit groom’s speech. Then, throw out everything you just read and write something from the heart. Tell a little-known but appealing story of your dating days that casts your bride in the best light. Skip anything off-color, embarrassing or silly. And don’t forget to take a moment to thank the parents who supported both of you over the years.
4. The ring. Tradition dictates you hand over the ring to your best man. But even if he is the most reliable guy in the world, it is possible he might forget it at the hotel. A mad dash in a suit is never fun, so think through where you want the ring to be ahead of time. And don’t forget your ring. Let your bride know exactly what you’re looking for in a ring with a stress-free home try on box of five favorite ring choices.
The fix: put the ring in a safe, smart place. Leave yourself a note on your garment bag to check the ring or to confirm with your best man that he has it before leaving for the venue. Don’t assume it’s still in your duffel bag, look to be sure. Your third cousin might think he’s being really funny and it will be easier to laugh off in the morning than when you’re T-minus-10 before the ceremony.
5. Your vows. While planning for the wedding, the two of you probably discussed what kinds of vows you wanted. If your opinions differed, now is the time to agree on the style you will use. Having one person say one quick line and the other pull out a 5-page speech is unbalanced and uncomfortable. Also, this is not the time to talk off the top of your head.
The fix: write your vows out ahead of time and check with your bride to make sure you match in length and style. Practice saying your vows out loud. If you’re going traditional, it’s even easier. Just make sure your pastor/priest/officiant knows what you both want ahead of time.
6. Your food. A typical groom’s wedding day involves skipping breakfast, missing lunch and then having no time for dinner. This crazy schedule is bound to catch up with a groom in unexpected ways like irritability or over-emotionalism. Also, dehydrating yourself is a poor game plan on a day when you are going to be sweating more than usual. You may find yourself dizzy when you’re standing up front, and not because of the blinding beauty of your bride coming towards you, either.
The fix: make sure you have a plan for breakfast. Put a few granola bars and water bottles into your duffel bag ahead of time for a worst-case-scenario lunch or snack. Make a plan with your groomsmen for take-out if the day is going to go long. Avoid alcohol during the day so you’re at the top of your game.
7. Your hair. The shaggy, homeless look may have endeared you to her during your dating days, but on this most important day, it’s time to change it up for a mature look to wow everyone. Getting a last-second haircut from a chop shop is going to be hard to overlook in all the pictures for the rest of your life. Adding stress to your morning trying to decide whether to shave or to keep the scruffy look, or arguing with your mom about it, is also a poor way to start the day.
The fix: find out who gives amazing groom haircuts and make an appointment two or three weeks in advance for a few days before the wedding. If it’s too short, it has a little time to grow out. Decide ahead of time if you’re going classic clean-shaven or if you’ll keep the short beard. Then, have the stylist trim the beard with sharp, clean lines and keep it maintained until the big day.
8. Your gifts. This is the day when the most important people in your life celebrate your wedding with you. The last thing you want to do is come off as unappreciative or unloving. And you don’t want to dash out to the first store you see and buy something cheesy for everyone right before the ceremony. A few thank-yous are definitely in order on this day, and a little forethought will ensure you properly communicate your appreciation.
The fix: research the best groomsmen gifts, or buy the wedding ties and have them wrapped nicely as the gift. Include a note thanking them for their friendship and for standing up with you. Prepare gifts and notes for your family who have supported you and who have contributed to your wedding. Have your officiant’s payment in an envelope, ready to go so you don’t forget that detail. Finally, think of something special for your bride. A heart-felt note, a unique gift or a piece of jewelry will let her know you’re thinking of her on this day filled with stress.
9. Your bride. Ironically, most of a traditional wedding day will be spent apart from each other. While solving last-second crises, making last-minute runs to the store, handling your idle groomsmen’s pranks, welcoming guests you don’t know, and answering a thousand questions, it’s easy to forget to connect emotionally with the most important person in your life – your bride. While it’s good to take care of others, on this day you need to be sure to give her a few breath-taking moments that she will cherish forever. While it sounds less-than-spontaneous, advance planning will ensure this day is truly special for her.
The fix: time the gift you are giving her to arrive at just the right moment. Anticipate something she will need that day and make sure it happens. Have a sweet note written out in advance and delivered by one of her ladies to let her know you are counting the seconds along with her. Be sure to tell her how incredible she looks in her dress and heartily agree with everyone else who says the same.
10. The honeymoon. It’s easy for the groom to think the honeymoon will take care of itself once he’s picked a location. But unexpected events like having lost luggage, getting traveler’s runny tummy, or being pulled away by an undercurrent are not highlights of the trip. While some of these things are going to happen regardless of planning, you can avoid many pitfalls by doing your research.
The fix: choose a location that fits not only your budget but both you and your bride’s ideas of a romantic get-away. Plan activities that both of you will enjoy doing together. Rather than going golfing by yourself while she goes to the spa, it will make better memories and more of a bond if you raft down a lazy river together or visit a nearby museum together. If you’re travelling on a shoestring, make small splurges like a hot pretzel, a coffeehouse’s house blend, a chocolate-coated strawberry, or a fresh bag of popcorn to fill your days with affordable treats.